Stuck in Life

 How many times have you felt 'STUCK’, not in the traffic jam or check-in queue kinds, the one with more impact, STUCK IN LIFE?  For many it never happens, they are the blessed ones, always content. For the people belonging to the ‘aware’ category, it would happen more than once. This is different than a mid-life crisis, it can happen at any stage of your life even when from the outside your life is everything perfect.

When I give it a little more thought it can also translate to things not going the way you want them to. We will stick to this interpretation as I can give a couple of examples because who better than me. 

This pandemic showed me a year that I have never imagined or planned for, even after watching all kinds of Hollywood movies, because who thinks that shit can get real.

I had big plans for the year that has gone by and smaller ones for this new one, time will tell if the smaller ones reach the same fate as the big ones. After I moved to Amsterdam, the struggle was real, finding a job, finding a decent place to stay ( it’s not easy and I am not exaggerating), visa deadlines, it took us 1.5 years to feel settled, financially and career wise, which bring us to 2020. 

The year that 2020 was supposed to be, the year of travel, the year of Initiation, the year of improving my survival-only swimming technique, the year of bringing my mom to Amsterdam, the year of getting a dog, now dear reader I hope you understand the gravity of BIG GOALS.

None of the above happened, what happened instead is the lockdown, an overworked-me who didn’t get the promotion she worked her ass off, the 1-year waitlist to get a dog, the year rounded up with losing immediate family members to DEATH. 

I didn’t deliberately eliminate any good things that happened, of course, there were good things, we had a roof, jobs, good health, and food. Forever grateful for these. 

This post is about feeling stuck, so back to rant, now unlike India, we are still in a partial- lockdown, that means stores which opened recently can be visited only by appointments, gym, movie hall or any sort of entertainment is closed. We cannot be outside after 9 pm, only 1 guest is allowed in a day, traveling within Europe for non-essential reason is impossible. There are people who made the best out of this or were ok about this, I live with one such person so you can imagine it doesn’t help.  

There is no clarity on what the next few months hold, things are not going to change drastically and life is not going back to ‘NORMAL’, and I can’t come to terms with this harsh reality. 

Now dear reader you would say, pursue some indoor hobby, and it’s a noble idea. I would ask what did you pursue and how long did it last? Hobbies as the name suggest is a hobby, it won’t last long, I tried few things but how long can you restrict an extrovert within 4 walls & expect them to be sane.

 I can’t plan anything for this year, it would just result in disappointment like 2020. Mind it, I can deal with uncertainty, I have thrived before. This is not the same. 

How do I deal with this then? 

 I am still figuring out, the only way I know is ‘Acceptance’, no I am not wise enough to know it on my own. A very learned saint once said ‘if you fight against the flow of nature, it's you who will end up being hurt’. True, true, true. 

Acceptance doesn’t come easy, especially to obstinate control freaks( me), these creatures suffer, cry, fight until they cannot anymore. How naive! No one said knowledge is enough, only when it's applied it can change the fabric of one's true self. 

I don't know when I am going to finally accept, realistically, after I have cried my eyes out or this thing actually gets over. I do wish for the latter. 

                                                   Are you in a similar bottle? ( I hope not ) 

Let you Go

One fine day u walked into my life
Unaware,Unwanted, you still became important

The days were fun, life beautiful

Worries scarce & sunshine bountiful 

I didn't know it was all temporary
For I was naive and unwary

You said 'you need to go"

The reasons felt invalid

I cried, I fought

Such is life is all you said
LEFT, without a promise.

Present became a memory

How I didn't want to accept

Another of your kind walked in and away

It did hurt though lesser this time

Years have gone by
All the memories linger still 

I never really learnt how to let people go
For the ones who were meant to stay never said "Goodbye"


               ***

Weekend getaway from Bangalore - Shravanbelagola

"Basadis(Jain temples) at Chandragiri"

I have never liked visiting monuments of religious and historical importance, I owe it to my disliking of subject "history" since the early days. I couldn't understand the importance of knowing the history or its relevance to the present no matter how vacuous  I sound.
As a kid I have visited quite a lot of historic monuments , thanks to educational school trips whatever little I know I owe to thee.

I just wanted to get out of the town , to some place , any place. I have said No multiple times whenever Shravanbelagola or any other archeological place was suggested and this time I decided to give it a try. As you grow older it becomes tougher to come out of your comfort zones ( read Beaches and mountains), Karnataka has a lot to offer when it comes to seeing historic site so i thought if I get to like it I will have so many new places to visit and if I don't , well its worth sacrificing a  weekend.

We didn't plan this trip at all, as we were still scratching each others head to shortlist a place. We had decided to leave early morning on a lovely Saturday so that we could reach Shravanbelagola by 7 am before it becomes too hot to walk up 650 Steps! The plan didn't work , given how super-not excited I was . We got up at 11 am , had our lunch ,still contemplating to go or not. Ravi managed to finally convince me (this was his 2nd time visiting the place) , we wrapped 2 pair of clothes in case we decide to stay the night.

Shravanbelagola is most famous for Lord Bahubali's monolithic statue & for the religious sentiments attached, its approximately 145 Kms from Bangalore , thus making it good enough for a day trip. Its mostly advised to visit Belur and Halebidu which is further 92 kms from Shravanbelagola and a lot of people prefer/suggest to cover this in 1 trip but we chose otherwise.
There are 2 routes from Bangalore , one via Ramnagara -Mandya , other via Yeshwanthpur-Herur
route, at the time of our departure google maps suggested the 2nd one and no regrets on that. Once you get out of Bangalore its mostly NH , some part of it is state highway the one part where Karnataka gov doesn't seem to disappoint for a change!

It took us 3 hours to reach Shravanbelagola town, it was not crowded at all ,we easily got a parking right outside the entrance of temple for 40 Rs, if you don't get parking try going further down after you have taken the right in front of the temple, parking should be free & easy!
There is a shoe stand at the bottom and you need to take off your shoes before you start the ascend , to reach the main temple 500 odd steps needs to be taken. I have gone with an open mind & my camera :)

The stairs are carved out of the hill on which the temple is situated , every few steps we had to stop catch our breaths, soak in the view & start agai , it took us some 25 minutes to climb those steps with enough breaks to reach the main temple area.

"Stairway to History"

There it was , in all its glory, standing very tall, the tallest monolithic statue of the world of Lord Bahubali, we couldn't miss the intricate tree branches ,anthills and the animals that were carved out at his feet.

"Bahubali "

Bahubali stood in standing posture in total meditation continuously for one year, without food and water. Ant – hills grew by the side of his legs and serpents made these ant hills their abode and moving around Creepers grew up entwining his legs and arms up to his shoulders. He attained Kevaljnan – a perfect and complete knowledge about the Universe. Thus, he was called as Bahubali – Kevali.

"Jain Monk offering a coconut (prasadam)"

"Devotees offering water to signify cleansing Bahubali's feet"

The views from top are beautiful , its advisable to go when its not sunny . It was a lucky day for us or the universe was making sure I love every bit of this trip. We stood there , wondering how would it be live in that era , how much did the people suffer to build this . It has lived through centuries , telling a story.
Spend some time there, breathe in the fresh air , the soothing cold stone ,close in your eyes to the vast green view & listen to the wind whispering all the secrets.

"My muse admiring Bahubali"

" Weekend View "

We touched down at 6.30pm , the temple gate closes at 5.30 pm in the evening, make sure you time yourself accordingly. We decided to stay in this sleepy town for the night, a lot of traveler's had suggested Raghu hotel, just 50mts from the temple , they offer modest rooms for Rs 600 per night, the food is decent & cheap. We finished dinner for 250 and after a stroll we called it a day.( Beware of the mosquitoes, if you plan to stay at Raghu carry an Odomos)

The next morning , we decided not to go to Belur -Halebidu , you can cover it if you ever plan to visit Saklehspur thus we kept it for another weekend ,another day. After having traditional south Indian breakfast we walked towards Chandragiri which is right opposite to Shravanbelagola, on the other side of the water tank.

"A plate of Idli-Vada - The best breakfast"

To reach Chandragiri hill, you need to climb another set of stairs ,a number of Basadis (Jain temple) can be found on this hill, it takes it name from the ruler Chandragupta Maurya who visited this place to attain religious peace.

"Chandragiri Hill"

We saw a lot of Jain devotees , offering prayers in these temples. Each temple has its own statue with history that dates back to 300BC. The views are amazing , so are these structures.  

We read a suggestion to visit Markanhali dam on the way back to Bangalore, it was indeed a good suggestion, a small detour on NH75 and you will reach this vast expanse of water , with a dedicated area for a nice stroll. The views, weather just added to the whole experience. 

"Long Walks "

"Training the husband to get that perfect click"

We both loved every bit of this trip ,it did not burn a hole in our pockets , we used the weekend to explore a new place and in the process got little closer to magnificent Indian history.

TO HELP OR NOT TO HELP?

We had just finished a 800 rupee Ice-cream as our dinner & were fiddling with our respective laptops, we sat in a plush colony of Bengaluru overlooking the passers go by; the reason I mention the ice cream's  cost is not to be pompous but to draw a comparison as I narrate the events of rest of the evening.

It was an usual Sunday evening ,nothing has been different about the day yet.
A 10-12 year old boy peeped through the railings , I could see his lips move , an obvious sign that he was saying something. I took the earphones out to hear him say " do you speak Hindi"? Now its very unlikely in Karnataka to hear this question and it was probably the first time I did ( I have only ASKED this question & never the other way round)
I said " I do" , behind him was a sari clad lady with a baby girl in hand who was fast asleep, i continued to make some observations measuring how much jewellery she wore and if she had footwear on or not . He continued to narrate " We are from Maharashtra and have come here for work , but we lost our father in the city & now we don't have any money , can you please help us get some food and ticket to Ankola.
We humans don't trust each other easily , forget about strangers walking by asking for money. I continued to ask him question if he had an ID card , whats in his bag and their names. they obviously did not have any id card , the bag was almost empty except for few pair of clothes.
My first instinct was to help them, at least get them food but there was nothing near by hence I continued to discuss the matter with Ravi, during that time another lady and a boy ( 18-25 years old) emerged , they continued to tell me a similar story .
They could read my expressions whether I was willing to help or not , the lady signaled to leave but the youth  hushed her because he could sense my eagerness to do something.
 This pushed me back a little to re-think what I was doing , I believe when in doubt at least provide a meal to one in need , they cannot misuse it. I told them to wait there & I will be back in 20 minutes with some food , I got into the car ,they continued to thank me and assured me that they will wait there.

600 metres away there was a food joint & as I got out of the car a boy came running with a similar story , I was still trying to gather all my thoughts when a 30 year old something passer warned me saying this is all scam , don't listen to him. By now all my guards were up and I was unsure if I even want to get the food but as I made a promise to that family I decided to go ahead and get the food packed .

It took 20 minutes or something for the food to get ready , I got out of the place and the entire family was there , 2 ladies , 2 kids, 1 old man with his wife & one 20 something youth. They followed us?
The old lady wasn't there before , I asked them if they lied to me about their father getting lost as I could see the old man , to which they confirmed the person lost is the father whereas this person was the grandfather. I didn't want to ask anything else, I handed over the food , they continued to ask for some money to reach majestic so I handed over some with a pointer to where to get the bus from.
ALL IT COSTED ME WAS THAT 1 ICE-CREAM WE ATE AN HOUR AGO.
I left.

This is not the first time this has happened, multiple times before I have met people asking for food or telling a story about being lost , even with a doubt I chose to help them at least with food part. Every time there is a conflict to HELP or NOT HELP,  we choose not to because its easier not to trust , not to put that little extra effort. On the contrary when you want to help its not easy to take a decision when mind & conscience are at conflict.
But I rather choose to HELP.

I am not promoting organised beggary, every single day a kid walks up to the car showing his mark-sheet & asking for tuition fee, at those times I wish I could get out of the car go to his place validate his statements and help him, but I am guilty of never doing that.
The other times an old lady shivering to death would plead for money and as soon its a green signal she would be all normal. To these people I don't want to give money, I question myself how 10 rupees would have mattered to me for which she could have gotten a cup of tea.

Then there are people who sell fruits , pens or toys , I buy from them , why not? I know they are selling a 3 rupee pen for 10 but they are not begging , they are toiling by going to each & every window in that heat & pollution. Now again even if they are part of some organised group , so what??

People like me spend on movies, clothes , trips , luxury goods without  thinking once but when it comes to helping a person by buying a 10 rupee pen apparently I should be aware that he might be a a part of an organised scam?
I shouldn't buy a 300 rupee meal for a family of 6 as they are probable cheats but can relish a 300 rupee ice-cream ?
How does 1 justify this? I cant.

There is so much bad in this world, why cant for once we not think about other person's intention & just spread good vibes ? I am not giving away my wealth or my life, its just about a meal or few odd rupees which I would spend anyways somewhere worthless.

I read some where :
Choose being KIND over being RIGHT , and you will be right every time.

 P. S - We took another round of the area where we saw the family last , they were busy eating :)         

Coonoor - Sojourn in Nilgiris

Tea Estates as far you can see and some Sunshine 

I took my head out to feel the fresh rain drops , the nippy mountain air , I have just woken up from a nap with some discomfort in my neck and the view just made me forget all the inches of my body that ached because of long sitting.

We were headed to Coonoor, a quaint non commercialized hills station in the Nilgiris in southern India. It is at a distance of 297 KMS from Bangalore and takes between 9-10 hours depending on the breaks you take.

The drive goes through Mysore road , bypassing Mysore directly leading to Bandipur National park before the hill drive starts  towards Ooty, the hill drive has 36 hairpin bends , good road , no mobile network and amazing view of the valley.
We started from Bangalore at 6 am with 1 long break for breakfast on the Mysore road( lot of highway joints) , other small break to fill up just before forest area starts and reached at 2pm

Tip: Start early ,be aware of the traffic you will experience in Ooty as you will need to cross it to reach Coonoor.

We have chosen Sunvalley Homestay because of the reviews on TripAdvisor , we booked 15 days in advance and got the last 2 rooms available. On their website it showed booked, we still sent a query and they got back with good news! This place is not a traditional home stay ! The rooms are big , clean and very well maintained. The entry point looks disappointing but the view from rooms are breathtaking! The staff was the most courteous we have ever seen, even after reaching way past lunch time they served us hot pipping food with so much love.

Tea pickers gathering leaves

You will meet the laziest dog Soni , bunch of rabbits, pigeons ,house sparrows which i believed was extinct.The place is done nicely with small touches of bird feed , lines of lilies , exotic flowers and a restaurant that offers mesmerizing views.

The rooms had big balconies which opened into the tea plantation estate.

At Sunvalley , with modest rooms and panoramic views 

Being on road for 9 hours left us tired and aching for bed ,while others got cozy to catch up some sleep i ventured out in the tea plantation for an hour long walk ( the advantage of dozing off in the car).
The sun had started to set , the entire area was washed by golden light ,birds returning to their nest and such calm, i could hear my each step and breath.
I sat in the middle of all shades of green to listen to my thoughts , there were none. The view had silent the mind and calmed the breath ,nature does this to you.

During the long walk in Tea estate, sunset is a great time to venture out 

You will wake up to chirping Mynas 

Magical Sunsets

Next day we decided to wake up at leisure and ventured out after having fulfilling south Indian breakfast. We dropped the idea of toy train because it gets heavily crowded, is very slow ( impatient people like me will jump off) and  need to queue up 6 am in the morning to get ticket( you may still not get the ticket).

We decided to have lunch at The Culnarium ,  a pretty restaurant on the way to Ooty that offers mix of Italian and french food ,the food was good but we had to wait for 1 hour to get a table.
we headed to Kotagiri, another small town in Nilgiris which is still untouched and has some breathtaking views, we depended on Google maps to reach Rangaswamy peak and pillar but got lost multiple times, the drive is scenic , you will spot small houses in the middle of nowhere , tea plantations , mighty mountains blooming with vegetation .

At Kotagiri you will spot multiple such residences in the middle of Tea Estate 

It was already day 3 and we regretted coming here for such a short duration, you can easily  spend 5 days if you are a nature lover. After a really early walk in the plantation , sumptuous breakfast we started for Bangalore with a plan to visit Tea factory . There was a major accident on the route which delayed us , again we dependent on google maps and got lost twice! Ooty was jammed as expected and the direction that google maps showed for the tea factory was a dead end so we cancelled the idea and headed directly to Luru!

Until we meet again 

Once you get out of Ooty its less crowded, the roads are free. Make sure to buy spices in Ooty itself as you will not find any shop on the way. Keep the windows open , stack up snacks and enjoy the view .

On the way back we ate at Glanton Manor which is right at the end of hill drive and beginning of Bandipur National Park they are famous for their biryani but we liked the food in general,

                                                              IMPORTANT TIPS

1. There are plenty of fuel stations so no need to stack up!

2. It gets really cold, in the day it goes up-to 18 degrees and night temperature can be as low as 16 degrees. Carry 1 thin and 1 thick jacket if you want to venture out in night

3. There are almost no shops to buy liquor, if you plan to drink Wine carry some!

4. Don't follow google maps all the time, its a good idea to ask locals if you know the language.

5. Its ok to not visit any tourist spots as they are really crowded, instead go for drive to Kotagiri and
take long walk in tea plantation

6. Book in advance if you want to stay at a good place!

7.Entry to Bandipur national park is restricted after 6 pm so plan the entry/exit accordingly.

8. Carry binoculars if you are fond of birding.

                                                                         

The only photo of 4 of us together - What a trip guys <3

Life in METRO

For past 1 week every time I get those 30 minutes on my usual train a flurry of thoughts rush through my head as i draft each and every sentence with utmost precision that would soon become a blog post (a blog that has been ignored for long)
I love those 30 minutes i get everyday , the phone network doesn't work, i chose not to carry my laptop and even among those strangers i feel at peace. As i rush up the elevator every morning i see the same old gentleman scanning the boys , a girl in her early twenties scans the females who sometimes stand on the other side and is replaced by a middle aged lady, these are the only constants in those 35 minutes i spend everyday on my journey from home to work.

During the peak hours the coaches are  jammed till the door and if you are somewhere back in the que its advisable to let the first train go or if those 5 minutes of wait for another train is unavoidable/unbearable  be prepared to be crushed against the glass ,probably get a stare or two for mistakenly stamping on somebody's  foot. But if you are a middle class Indian(just like me ) chances are you  already used to this.

This Struggle gets over as soon as the train arrives at MG road station , its like nobody travels beyond that point !!I usually get a place to sit as soon we cross this station except for the times when some moron decides to push me behind and grab that one place for which i have been standing for past 5 stops whereas he got in at the last one , well I give a cold look ( to which he is mostly oblivious ) and move on. The funny part is everyone around knows that he did was wrong except for himself. Now few of you may get question why i used HIM and not HER , well i never experienced this will girls , if aunties do this its ignored because they obviously need the seat more then me.

In these 30 Min's i also get to experience the diversity our country is so proud of , this variety includes locals(of course) , people from far off states of North India and north east India, locals but originally from a nearby state ,farmers and daily wagers , government employees , lawyers , school and college students , expats , noisy kids, big families, Travelers , loud smelly -no etiquette kinds , phone photography lovers, and last us the daily commuters. There are few faces i wave at just because i see them often ,more then i see my best friend or my mom.

My favorite kind of commuters are the oldies, they remind me of my parents and the fact that we all are just passengers in this journey called life . I dislike those bunch of college kids the most who tend to use Bro both as prefix and suffix for almost every sentence e.g  Bro, listen to this song bro, its kick ass bro - The Bro listens and responds " Bro, what a song Bro" I am going to add it to my play list , thanks bro".. I have heard this conversation so many times that now as soon i hear this word i start hunting for my earphones in that giant bag of mine.

Its amazing to think that i spend 10 hours every month with set of complete strangers and still most of us never try to engage in a conversation or two , all of us even though scanning through each others faces are so lost in our thoughts or in our phones that we forget how enriching a conversation may turn out to be( I am included in this list).So many times i get the urge to ask the person sitting next to me  " whats your story ?" but either the train reaches the destination or the thought never becomes an action.
I love seeing those new faces every single day and wonder how i have never seen 2 faces alike , a small temporary world gets created every single day and ends because everyone reached their destination , isn't it beautiful?
Even when you do not actually share your life with these people you do share a destination, certain hours and the bond of fellow commuter.


                                                                                  ****

Kodaikanal - A Road trip from Bengaluru

Road trips in India have their own charm , the slow transition from narrow crowded streets to 4 lane-empty roads can be surreal. This was our (read Ravi & Mine )4th road trip in south India but we were unsure as the distance was 465 kms one way with almost no experience in hill driving . Google research helped us find that the roads till kodaikanal is a 4 lane highway and much like Bengaluru-Chennai, hill driving is restricted to a stretch of 43 kms from chennai -Thenni highway via Kodai Ghat road to  Kodaikanal. We were already packing our bags:)

We have put together a 5 pointer guide for your trip to this quaint hill station:

1) LEAVE EARLY - Its best to leave early to avoid the traffic in city , it will help you not to rush on the way and give you window for short breaks. The distance of approximately 465 kms was covered in 9 hours including the breaks .We left from Bengaluru at 6 am though we have planned for 4.30 & reached Kodaikanal at 3pm , on the way we took 1 long break and 2 short tea breaks . There are not many options on the way to have food so pack the lunch if possible, neither any clean toilets so best to make use of that big tree & bushes you will see on your way.

The last stretch of 43 kms is an uphill ride with sharp hairpin bends , the roads are in very good condition but there is no street light , covering this stretch in daylight is advisable if you are a non seasoned hill driver.

2) Accommodation in Kodaikanal - I like to do my own research and prefer booking well in advance , we decided to stay near the famous Kodai lake and chose Sterling Resorts Kodai - By the Lake  Its a well maintained property with lots of greenery in and around, flowers blooming in full swing and plenty of indoor activities to keep kids and the kid in you alive.We were left disappointed as Goibibo described the room we booked to have a balcony with views but there was no such thing. We were informed by the hotel staff that only twin bedroom apartments had balconies.Also, The resort name states Kodai - By the lake , A Sterling resorts its further from the lake. around a km and one can see the lake only from their restaurant. Again a big disappointment if you are looking for lake view.

If you have the budget stay @ Carlton (Carlton -Kodaikanal), its a beautiful property just by the lake with stunning views from their gardens. We loved their buffet too as we feasted there for 2 of our meals!Other choice was Villa retreat (Villa Retreat), but thy were full for the dates. 

Plan in advance if you want to have a good luxurious stay.

"I can play this all day long"

3)If you can, Avoid Weekend: Weekend can be really crowded in Kodai as lots of locals prefer the lake and other touristy spots.Rest of the week you wont see a soul around ,you can go for long stroll around the lake without vendors making sure you take a horse ride.

4) MAGIC-SHROOM - This is one of the specialty of Kodai , you will find young boys on bikes zooming past you and saying - Shroom - Bro????If you are interested they will ask how many dozen you want. Don't be startled , Magic-shroom's magic starts only when consumed in large quantities such as a dozen .If you say yes , they will ask you to meet at one corner of the lake and hand over a crumpled paper ball filled with mushrooms. We were doing this for the first time so didn't know if the mushrooms were fresh or not , but we believed they were not as it did not move a hair on me! They are supposed to be eaten with honey or just by themselves ( only if your taste buds don't exist!)

This is not legal though!

"I found a new meditation spot"

Long Walks like these everyday - YES PLEASE

5)Things to do/Places to eat - There are plenty of touristy places to visit , such as Berijam lake, Coakers walk , Dolphin Nose. For Berijam lake you need permit from the forest department, plan accordingly and reach by 9am if you have gone by private vehicle. We were informed trek to Perumal peak has been banned & were left utterly disappointed,I did not find this anywhere while researching for this trip. On weekdays we loved taking a stroll by the lake ,with no one around all we could hear was chirping birds ,rustling leaves & our footsteps. We spent the afternoons lazing around, playing othello and reading through the afternoons.Relish your taste buds with different varieties of fresh fruits available such as Pears, apples, Rambutan. On your way to the lake Visit Tredis tea room for good Non- vegetarian food & hot cuppa .

"Our Own sweet spot in Pine Forest"

P.S : It can get really cold in Kodaikanal, the day temperature in June was 18-20 Degree Celsius and night was 12!! Carry enough woollens so that you can go for night strolls as well( I know , I just cant get enough of these). Don't forget umbrella , keep it handy , always.