We had just finished a 800 rupee Ice-cream as our dinner & were fiddling with our respective laptops, we sat in a plush colony of Bengaluru overlooking the passers go by; the reason I mention the ice cream's cost is not to be pompous but to draw a comparison as I narrate the events of rest of the evening.
It was an usual Sunday evening ,nothing has been different about the day yet.
A 10-12 year old boy peeped through the railings , I could see his lips move , an obvious sign that he was saying something. I took the earphones out to hear him say " do you speak Hindi"? Now its very unlikely in Karnataka to hear this question and it was probably the first time I did ( I have only ASKED this question & never the other way round)
I said " I do" , behind him was a sari clad lady with a baby girl in hand who was fast asleep, i continued to make some observations measuring how much jewellery she wore and if she had footwear on or not . He continued to narrate " We are from Maharashtra and have come here for work , but we lost our father in the city & now we don't have any money , can you please help us get some food and ticket to Ankola.
We humans don't trust each other easily , forget about strangers walking by asking for money. I continued to ask him question if he had an ID card , whats in his bag and their names. they obviously did not have any id card , the bag was almost empty except for few pair of clothes.
My first instinct was to help them, at least get them food but there was nothing near by hence I continued to discuss the matter with Ravi, during that time another lady and a boy ( 18-25 years old) emerged , they continued to tell me a similar story .
They could read my expressions whether I was willing to help or not , the lady signaled to leave but the youth hushed her because he could sense my eagerness to do something.
This pushed me back a little to re-think what I was doing , I believe when in doubt at least provide a meal to one in need , they cannot misuse it. I told them to wait there & I will be back in 20 minutes with some food , I got into the car ,they continued to thank me and assured me that they will wait there.
600 metres away there was a food joint & as I got out of the car a boy came running with a similar story , I was still trying to gather all my thoughts when a 30 year old something passer warned me saying this is all scam , don't listen to him. By now all my guards were up and I was unsure if I even want to get the food but as I made a promise to that family I decided to go ahead and get the food packed .
It took 20 minutes or something for the food to get ready , I got out of the place and the entire family was there , 2 ladies , 2 kids, 1 old man with his wife & one 20 something youth. They followed us?
The old lady wasn't there before , I asked them if they lied to me about their father getting lost as I could see the old man , to which they confirmed the person lost is the father whereas this person was the grandfather. I didn't want to ask anything else, I handed over the food , they continued to ask for some money to reach majestic so I handed over some with a pointer to where to get the bus from.
ALL IT COSTED ME WAS THAT 1 ICE-CREAM WE ATE AN HOUR AGO.
I left.
This is not the first time this has happened, multiple times before I have met people asking for food or telling a story about being lost , even with a doubt I chose to help them at least with food part. Every time there is a conflict to HELP or NOT HELP, we choose not to because its easier not to trust , not to put that little extra effort. On the contrary when you want to help its not easy to take a decision when mind & conscience are at conflict.
But I rather choose to HELP.
I am not promoting organised beggary, every single day a kid walks up to the car showing his mark-sheet & asking for tuition fee, at those times I wish I could get out of the car go to his place validate his statements and help him, but I am guilty of never doing that.
The other times an old lady shivering to death would plead for money and as soon its a green signal she would be all normal. To these people I don't want to give money, I question myself how 10 rupees would have mattered to me for which she could have gotten a cup of tea.
Then there are people who sell fruits , pens or toys , I buy from them , why not? I know they are selling a 3 rupee pen for 10 but they are not begging , they are toiling by going to each & every window in that heat & pollution. Now again even if they are part of some organised group , so what??
People like me spend on movies, clothes , trips , luxury goods without thinking once but when it comes to helping a person by buying a 10 rupee pen apparently I should be aware that he might be a a part of an organised scam?
I shouldn't buy a 300 rupee meal for a family of 6 as they are probable cheats but can relish a 300 rupee ice-cream ?
How does 1 justify this? I cant.
There is so much bad in this world, why cant for once we not think about other person's intention & just spread good vibes ? I am not giving away my wealth or my life, its just about a meal or few odd rupees which I would spend anyways somewhere worthless.
I read some where :
Choose being KIND over being RIGHT , and you will be right every time.
P. S - We took another round of the area where we saw the family last , they were busy eating :)
It was an usual Sunday evening ,nothing has been different about the day yet.
A 10-12 year old boy peeped through the railings , I could see his lips move , an obvious sign that he was saying something. I took the earphones out to hear him say " do you speak Hindi"? Now its very unlikely in Karnataka to hear this question and it was probably the first time I did ( I have only ASKED this question & never the other way round)
I said " I do" , behind him was a sari clad lady with a baby girl in hand who was fast asleep, i continued to make some observations measuring how much jewellery she wore and if she had footwear on or not . He continued to narrate " We are from Maharashtra and have come here for work , but we lost our father in the city & now we don't have any money , can you please help us get some food and ticket to Ankola.
We humans don't trust each other easily , forget about strangers walking by asking for money. I continued to ask him question if he had an ID card , whats in his bag and their names. they obviously did not have any id card , the bag was almost empty except for few pair of clothes.
My first instinct was to help them, at least get them food but there was nothing near by hence I continued to discuss the matter with Ravi, during that time another lady and a boy ( 18-25 years old) emerged , they continued to tell me a similar story .
They could read my expressions whether I was willing to help or not , the lady signaled to leave but the youth hushed her because he could sense my eagerness to do something.
This pushed me back a little to re-think what I was doing , I believe when in doubt at least provide a meal to one in need , they cannot misuse it. I told them to wait there & I will be back in 20 minutes with some food , I got into the car ,they continued to thank me and assured me that they will wait there.
600 metres away there was a food joint & as I got out of the car a boy came running with a similar story , I was still trying to gather all my thoughts when a 30 year old something passer warned me saying this is all scam , don't listen to him. By now all my guards were up and I was unsure if I even want to get the food but as I made a promise to that family I decided to go ahead and get the food packed .
It took 20 minutes or something for the food to get ready , I got out of the place and the entire family was there , 2 ladies , 2 kids, 1 old man with his wife & one 20 something youth. They followed us?
The old lady wasn't there before , I asked them if they lied to me about their father getting lost as I could see the old man , to which they confirmed the person lost is the father whereas this person was the grandfather. I didn't want to ask anything else, I handed over the food , they continued to ask for some money to reach majestic so I handed over some with a pointer to where to get the bus from.
ALL IT COSTED ME WAS THAT 1 ICE-CREAM WE ATE AN HOUR AGO.
I left.
This is not the first time this has happened, multiple times before I have met people asking for food or telling a story about being lost , even with a doubt I chose to help them at least with food part. Every time there is a conflict to HELP or NOT HELP, we choose not to because its easier not to trust , not to put that little extra effort. On the contrary when you want to help its not easy to take a decision when mind & conscience are at conflict.
But I rather choose to HELP.
I am not promoting organised beggary, every single day a kid walks up to the car showing his mark-sheet & asking for tuition fee, at those times I wish I could get out of the car go to his place validate his statements and help him, but I am guilty of never doing that.
The other times an old lady shivering to death would plead for money and as soon its a green signal she would be all normal. To these people I don't want to give money, I question myself how 10 rupees would have mattered to me for which she could have gotten a cup of tea.
Then there are people who sell fruits , pens or toys , I buy from them , why not? I know they are selling a 3 rupee pen for 10 but they are not begging , they are toiling by going to each & every window in that heat & pollution. Now again even if they are part of some organised group , so what??
People like me spend on movies, clothes , trips , luxury goods without thinking once but when it comes to helping a person by buying a 10 rupee pen apparently I should be aware that he might be a a part of an organised scam?
I shouldn't buy a 300 rupee meal for a family of 6 as they are probable cheats but can relish a 300 rupee ice-cream ?
How does 1 justify this? I cant.
There is so much bad in this world, why cant for once we not think about other person's intention & just spread good vibes ? I am not giving away my wealth or my life, its just about a meal or few odd rupees which I would spend anyways somewhere worthless.
I read some where :
Choose being KIND over being RIGHT , and you will be right every time.
P. S - We took another round of the area where we saw the family last , they were busy eating :)
Ms. Rashmi...Good one!
ReplyDeleteIMHO, this is sort of every day dilemma for many Bangalore commuters – whether to give or not to give to that beggar at the signals. I have wondered many a time, when I am sitting inside my 4 wheeler (alone) and when there is a person begging outside, why am I inside and not outside begging (and that beggar inside that car - In other words, our positions swapped). And clearly end up being kind to that person!
Thank you Siva, however i may disagree on giving alms to the beggars at the signal, i think buying items from people selling at the signal is still ok because they are putting in effort to make a living.
ReplyDeleteSame here. I do appreciate the ones who are “working in some form” to make a living (including the street corners/at signals). However, I won’t be very critical of (unorganized) “begging” as some of it could be just “state of mind”. Yes, it is very sad to see people begging, one would think they had a better choice of living but I would not simply wave it off as it does exist in reality. In fact, some Indian myth/scriptures sort of glorify “taking to alms”, they however must be “Truth Sayers” as they “take alms”. This is called the “bhavati bhiksham dehi”. I believe even Gautama Buddha had taken alms.
ReplyDeleteIf you really looked deep, IMHV, many NGOs are sort of “organized begging”. Just because they have a nice FB page does not mean they are NOT “begging for a cause”. Again I am not bad mouthing that, I am only observing. I shall continue to contribute to NGOs as well as beggars. But I don’t want to do it out of some guilt but out of compassion and just for the “joy of giving”!
Good to chat with you, as always.
It reflects absolutely my helplessness as well of many others. Nicely articulated every senseable persones dilemma. I admire the way you xerox or typewrite your mind on each of your blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you for Saikat for the lovely comment :)
Delete